2012 is really the end?

What if at 2012 is the really the end of the world? Now it's 2009, means we still got about 3 years to live. Well, actually we could die anytime by now, could be next year, next month, tomorrow, or even today, nobody knows. I don't believe 100% that 2012 is the end but if it is.. am I gonna feel disappointed with my past? Am I gonna regret the things that I've done or I haven't done in the past 21 years? It all gonna look way different at that time, means at my end, waaaaay different from my present point of view. Nowadays in my life, I only think about what is today's food, why i don't have enough money, today's shows on TV, my stupid internet connection, why couldn't i get online,why i can't slept normaly, is today gonna rain or not, and many other usual mind-numbing thoughts that repeats the same way everyday.

Well, I actually don't want my life to be lived without any obsessions, without any stimulant, only dead fish follows the current so I don't wanna be like the dead fish who lives a life just along the people going by. I want to have something to remember when i nearly died. I want to be satisfied with my life by the things I had done, I had got, and I had given. I don't care if nobody will cry at my funeral, maybe some are laughing but I guess I just need my own acception, because from what I saw from my life is nothing beside trashes, useless things, and losts, no victory. but in the end, i wouldn't dare to think how about my final exam, wouldn't care bout my KKN, wouldn't care about why i always spend a bunch of money, wouldn't care bout why pee wee gaskins is a gay and i hate it. but finally near end of the world, i would think about who always give love to me, and how much effort i gave to them.if i gave less.. i can't die in peace maybe.

there's cam movie i had got...
dvd rip thing, maybe i can't find these near time...
i suggest you buy some ticket in 21 or XXI it's just only 15.ooo rupiah, and it's worth... once for a while... just don't think to much about it. just take care people who loved you now.

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