Frustration

My sister said ‘the higher you climb the harder wind blow’.  That phrase which my sister said maybe right. I am experiencing that kind of situation literally and it’s happen not because I was climbing, I just stay where I need to stay. Neither climb nor walking to the top, I just sat in my chair nicely.

I am not the kind of people who pursue power through ambitious ways and money oriented. I just feel like to do things in my work professionally. And less people can think what I am doing. 

I am conditioning my team, just like my professional brother or sister. Everybody at any level just have no right to judge what the other thing do, was useless. That one went wrong. Just a tiny people can see that way.

I am trying to organize nicely and recorded, because that was my minus point last year. But another people just keep coming with new assignment and needs instant result. What went wrong, was the other person who gave me the task, was the same people who assess my report last year. Once again, I was frustrated.

I am trying to cooperate with another people who not willing to cooperate to reach the same goal for the company and everybody see that I was doing suicide. And they right! I am doing suicide. Another people see that I am not cooperated enough to that ‘another people’.

I am trying to defend the ‘another people’ from the other people with good and praising argument. But what I got? Vice versa.

I am working with moving variable, and yet another people not see the moving variable successfully makes me frustrated. Instead helping me to figure it out, they choose to see nothing. Yes, it’s sad.

I am trying to suppress the anger that hit instantly when that stresses come, and FYI there is another gasoline just pouring in top of me. Successfully it makes me explode to pieces.

I am just ordinary human, works professionally for the profit based company. Makes the stake holders wealth enough even they don’t touch the company. And the other people see that not enough to satisfied him/her. And the other people think hypothetically, they were the stake holders!

I am just trying to be cool to avoid proactive reaction, which not good for my psychology. But there another people, who innocently appear reactive and claim that she/he was doing something cool. 

I am searching for stable emotionally and psychologically, but now it seems not right.  I am not settling these environments. Too many unstable area, too many gravy area, too windy area, that makes me hard, not only to settling around, just hanging tight in there was hard enough.

I am a man who loved new variable, new stuff, hot stuff, weird stuff, and any other human or inhuman stuff. A lot of things make me very vulnerable to frustration, because the thing I played with is a frustrating stuff enough. 

I am not searching for empathy and I am trying to not complaining, and what was I typed about, just a joke. No heart feeling. Peace Out!